If only live is as easy as this....

I left the city for the weekend last Thursday night, it only means I left my laptop, my sad room and my portal to the other world. I'm at my parent's house right now to do some family obligations. I was with my so-called adopting family last night, had fun drinks with my sisters, good morning times and lunch later. This is the kind of life that I wanted, simple and light, going in and out from my parent's house and hang-out with my friends for some times. Now, I am meeting my college buddies and it was just a good timing, one of our friend gave birth to her baby boy, our first baby in our circle. I cant wait to see them in a while.

I decided to put off all my communication devices from the world, actually not, I am invisible at my Skype, left a voice message to my telephone, offline at Facebook, not answering calls and not giving any signs that I can access the cyber world anytime. Maybe this is not a good or right idea but this is what I wanted. I admit, I want to see who are the people who will give a shit to me, people who really cares, people who will be worried and people who will take time looking for me. Right now, I've been checking my accounts but no one does.

But who cares? Some people who I care about just don't give a shit. I have people who loves me, I can be a wealthy person without them, I don't have to take care of there life issues, I don't have to adjust my schedule just to catch up with them and I don't even have to be a friend of them. It's a relief to be free from the chains they attached me from them. Now, it's lighter and definitely, I can move on.

At this point, I feel some sort of silence, freedom and happiness. Silence from the chaos of thoughts that echoes in my head. Freedom from the want-to-be-selfish-me. And happiness to see people that still cares for me. It feels like a new start. It feels like you are a newly restored person, dormant and antagonist people can be easily erase. It would be a simple one when nothing is complicated and my happiness is within the circle.

It's humiliating to admit but yes, a small voice is coming from the dying part of me.. if only life is as easy as this.

Doreamon's love for Nobita

I might have 777 friends on facebook, 106 followers on twitter, 587 mafia members, thousands of acquaintances and circles of true great friends. A sole extraordinary friend plays the fairy-god-mother role in the tale of my life, her name is Jenna. She was not a childhood friend nor a growing up sister, she was a stranger. I met her on a hiring tour, 3 years ago and spent 3 months together at a Country Club in the United States for internship.

I grew up having friends but not a single best friend. Not because I was a spoiled brat, I just thought I don't need one. My mother, little brother and I had to live at my Grandma's House(Mother side) while my father(soldier) has to do his duty for the country. Together, we lived with Grandpa and Grandma, my 2 old maid aunts, my uncle with his wife and a daughter, my aunt and her husband and 2 kids, and another aunt, the youngest of the siblings. After couple of years, the number grew with 4 new cousins. Who needs a neighbor to be playmate? Who needs to be babysat and be left at a stranger's house or day care? I have them all in, I have cousins to play with and 3 additional mother.

No best friend? It didn't not concern me, my life revolved in my family and my life was as simple as a sunrise and sundown and my world rotates and revolves peacefully in it's right orbit. But time changes, my second parents(grandpa and grandma) left for eternal rest. My father did his part to serve our country, just time for him to rest and be with my mother for the rest of their life. My youngest aunt found her love and started her own family. My oldest cousin started building her career as a nurse and the rest of my cousins enjoy young life with their own circle of friends.

Considering these facts, I felt left behind. Yes, I have plenty of friends scattered around the world and numbers that I call my real friends. Although, I still feel isolated, unseen distance keeps me away from them.

However, I have a thin strong strand of thread that I've been keeping for myself and was  hooked with Jenna. I don't have any